# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
