Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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