we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it glows. i had to have it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
