My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
