i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
