Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
