TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
