I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
