goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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