saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
