I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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