Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
