I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
