how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize