He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
