Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
