Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize