I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
