She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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