I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
