you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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