HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
