Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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