Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just googled if crying burns calories
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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