Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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