He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
