The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
