Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize