i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
