shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
