i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
