just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
