No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
