clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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