At least make sure they are 18
Why
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize