big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
