We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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