tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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