he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
there is glitter all over my balls
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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