you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize