Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Randomize
