dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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