"it" just moved
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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