you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
