you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
