I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
