Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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