I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i will never coherently bang her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
