Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
