This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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