She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
