Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
