He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize