Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
