problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize