i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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