I need help removing her.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
