brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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