The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
