im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
