she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
