Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
