super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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