I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
