did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
