remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
