Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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